A mostly true story about house shoes… or lack thereof.
If you give a mom a pair of house shoes,
She’s going to want to wear them when she gets out of bed to start her to-do list.
When she goes to the closet to find the house shoes,
She will find only one.
So, she’ll rummage through her shoe rack to find the other shoe.
When she still doesn’t find the shoe,
She will decide to tidy up the shoe area of the closet in hopes of it showing up.
When she sits down to tidy the shoe area,
She’ll notice all the dust and dirt that has accumulated.
So, she’ll decide she needs to do a little cleaning.
And, if she decides to do some cleaning,
She’ll need a broom from the kitchen.
When she goes to the kitchen to get the broom,
She will be accosted by the cat who needs to be fed.
And, when she feeds the cat she will notice the food bucket is empty.
So, she will have to refill it with a new cat food bag from the closet.
When the dogs see that the cat has food,
They will insist on being fed as well.
So, she will feed the dogs.
When she looks up from feeding the dogs,
she will notice the empty cat food bag that needs to go in the trash can.
When she tosses the bag in the trash,
She will notice that the can has no bag in it.
She will sigh audibly.
When she goes to get a bag for the trash can,
She will notice wrappers and food items in the bottom of the pantry.
Since her children can’t possibly throw their wrappers away,
She will add them to the trash bag that she will put in the can.
When she puts the bag in the can,
She will notice the plates on the counter that need to be rinsed and put in the dishwasher.
And, when she opens the dishwasher to put in the plates,
She will discover that it is already full of dishes that need to be put away.
She will again sigh audibly.
Since she is the only one in the house who can put up a clean dish (she murmurs to herself),
She will put away all the dishes.
And, as she is putting away the dishes,
She will find that the silverware drawer is in chaos.
So, she will stop and reorganize the forks, spoons, knives, and other flatware.
When she finishes organizing the silverware drawer,
She will notice her daughter’s clothing hanging on a kitchen chair that needs to be washed.
So she will take it to the closet.
When she gets to the closet,
She remembers she forgot to bring the broom.
After going back to the kitchen and getting the broom,
She will start cleaning the closet.
As she’s sweeping the closet,
She will notice something sticking out from underneath the dryer.
So, she’ll sweep under the dryer.
And, if she’s sweeping under the dryer,
She will need to sweep under the washer.
Since she’s already at the washer and dryer,
She’ll decide she needs to wash a load of clothes.
When she opens the washing machine,
She will see that it has some dirt on the door.
So…. she will clean the washer.
As she’s cleaning the washer,
she will remember the load of laundry she put in the dryer.
So, she will fold the laundry and put it away.
As she’s putting away the laundry,
She will notice her husband’s side of the closet is a wreck.
She will begin to wonder if her house shoe could be hiding amongst his clothes and other paraphernalia.
So, she will begin to sweep and look in his shoe rack.
When she looks in his shoe rack,
She will start organizing and putting away his shoes that are strewn all over the floor.
When she stands back up,
She will see that his clothes are in disarray and hangers are dangling from the closet rod.
So, she will reorganize his side of the closet and put away the hangers.
As she’s putting away the hangers,
She will realize it’s time to wash, fold, and put away more laundry.
When she puts away the laundry,
She will turn to see the luggage from their vacation (from FOUR months ago) is still lying in the middle of the closet floor.
So, she will put it all away as well.
When she’s done putting away the luggage,
She will realize that her closet is clean. YAY!
But, then also realize she only found two right house shoes of different colors.
So, she will decide one of the house shoes must be under the bed.
When she cleans under the bed,
She will find several socks, other shoes, and a dog toy.
So, she’ll stop to put them away as well.
As she’s walking back through the house,
She will notice how cold her feet are and decide her shoe might be under the living room couch.
So, she will begin to sweep the living room.
When she sweeps under the couch,
She will find miscellaneous food wrappers, markers, a notebook, plastic toy fruit, cat toys, and an empty 2-liter bottle of Diet Mtn. Dew
But, she will find NO HOUSE SHOE!
As she is putting away all the items she found underneath the couch,
She will reevaluate her life’s existence and wonder if ANYONE IN THIS HOUSE PICKS UP AFTER THEMSELVES.
Which will make her want some chocolate.
When she goes in search of chocolate,
She will remember that her feet are cold.
And if she remembers her feet are cold,
Chances are…
She will put on two right house shoes in two different colors.
Obviously.
Inspired by the beloved children’s books by Laura Joffe Numeroff.
Hi, I’m Dachelle. I’m a homeschooling mom of 3 in the South. I love chocolate and have been known to hide it from my children. I can often be found reading a good book (or even sometimes just an okay book) and enjoying a jar of Nutella — don’t judge. I blog, here, at HideTheChocolate.com when I’m not creating book clubs and making lists…lots and lots of lists (it’s an addiction). Learn more…
HAHA! Totally relatable.
You are too funny! Love it!
This made me smile! (and maybe groan a bit at the truth of it…)
🙂